Designing Rhythms that Regulate

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Lauren explores how predictable rhythms regulate the nervous system and support calmer, more sustainable organizations.

Lauren explores how rhythm regulates both the nervous system and organizations, showing how predictable routines create safety, clarity, and capacity, while chaos increases stress and burnout.

She shares practical examples of daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly rhythms leaders can use to replace urgency with coherence, and invites listeners to try one regulating rhythm and notice how it shifts energy and pace over time.

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Transcript:

Lauren Spigelmyer: We're back. I feel like… one of these times we're going to actually, like, be in a live studio, because I feel like I'm talking to you all, but I'm… looking at myself, which is kind of funny, but I feel like I'm having a conversation with you, even though there's no one responding, but ugh, man, we're back. I love it! I love it. We're talking today, we're continuing this conversation about leadership and nervous system. Designing rhythms that regulate. So, how does someone like you, who is leading an organization, or, or, you know, leading children, how to design rhythms that mirror the nervous system's natural cycle. Because with those rhythms, it creates predictability, which everybody's nervous system needs, it creates a sense of belonging, which everybody's nervous system wants, and it gives you more capacity, which we all want. So, think about… this is the nervous system in general. I know I talk about this all the time, and… hopefully… It's new information that just kind of, like, solidifies a little bit further the importance and the depth of, like, the nervous system being a part of every single piece and part of our lives. One of the things that we know about the nervous system, we know about regulation, is it's… it relies on rhythm. Rhythm is regulating. And… we know that, scientifically, because it exists, like, in biology and all around us. Like, your breath, in, out, in, like, even if you're not consciously aware, your breath is going in, out, in, out. They want your heartbeat, like, it's a rhythm. When you sleep, circadian rhythms. When you move, rhythms. Like, every part of our life is rhythms. I mean, even, like, pregnancy, childbirth, all the things leading up to pregnancy and childbirth. It's all rhythms, and our body… is designed to work on rhythms. So naturally, rhythms are regulating. The mind, the body, the brain, the nervous system, it loves them. So healthy organizations are like a living body. They're not really that much different, and when rhythm… when… when rhythms are predictable, when they're humane stress decreases When rhythms are chaotic, or don't even exist, people feel overwhelmed. People start to burn out. People start to leave their positions or don't show up for work. That is not what we want.

Lauren Spigelmyer: So… let's first talk about why rhythm creates regulation. I already kind of alluded to this, but we as human beings, one, biologically, we work in rhythms, but two, we love predictability. Even if we, like, say we're maybe, like, very extroverted, or we love chaos, we love adventure, it doesn't mean there's not… predictability that grounds all of that. Predictability cues safety. Your body is more concerned with safety than anything else. Your body, your biology, it's like, keep me safe, don't die, procreate, like, that's what it's biologically built to do. Even if you don't want some of those things, like, your body is designed to do that. So, in order to help it to feel safe psychologically, it wants and craves predictability. When we're working with children, If you work in a setting that involves children, like, this is why we have so many routines, instructional routines, like classroom routines. They all create calm. Sometimes there's chaos inside of the routines for other reasons, but routines themselves are very regulating. Even in adults, when you're in an organization like rhythms that, no, routines that have rhythms, like meetings, if you have the same structure for your meetings all the time, or you know what to expect, or, like, certain things happen the same days of the week, those are all, like, rhythmic anchors, because you know they're coming, you know what they look like, they're predictable. When organizations have rhythms that are routine-based it sends a signal to the human dind, nervous system, this is stable. I have some sense of control. I know what to expect now. Expect now, or next. There's a pace to this. There's clarity. I feel like I am a part of this, because I know how it cycles, and I know how it works. Really, truly rhythm is like the heartbeat of your organization. If it's disrupted, well, we know what happens when your heart stops beating, or the heartbeat is disrupted. When it's steady, the whole system moves, flows, and exists in less stress. It breathes easier. So, we need to keep that in mind. I want you to think about for a second. Do you have rhythms in your own, like, work cycle? Does work itself, kind of above you, have cycles and rhythms and routines? And think about those. And are those rhythms and routines, are they regulating, dysregulating? Because rhythms and routines can be dysregulating. We have patterns that we subconsciously follow that are dysregulating. So, just think about that for a second, and think about what, you know, do I have any routines that are regulating? Are some dysregulating? Are there work routines that are, that aren't? Just pause, think about that.

Lauren Spigelmyer: And then what we're gonna go into next is talking about rhythms that we can put in place, organizationally, that regulate, and not just, like, daily but weekly, monthly, quarterly, like, even the year moves in rhythms. So, what are some anchors, rituals, practices that we can include in each of those, like, parts, pieces, or seasons that help to stabilize us? So, let's talk about some examples of what some weekly anchors might be. Like, do you have… Monday's kind of a hard day for most people, you're coming off the weekend, coming back to work, maybe you're in office, maybe you're not, but are there any grounding… anchors that you have on Monday. Like, maybe… maybe Monday, if you're gonna do a meeting, is more like a huddle, and it's like, okay, here's what's going on for the week, and it's a more positive-paced thing with, like, lots of regulation practices and grounding practices to start it and end it. It's not like a hard-hitting meeting where you feel wiped out after the meeting. Maybe a weekly anchor is when you leave on Friday. There's some type of, like, release or gratitude practice where you're not taking all the things with you in your mind or your body. Maybe you have, like, no meeting zone or no meeting frame to kind of… meetings disrupt the flow, and when you have too many meetings, it really disrupts a lot of the flow. So, we want people to be able to be productive and regulated, so maybe on, like, Wednesdays or Thursdays or, you know, maybe Tuesdays, but I probably would choose a Wednesday or a Thursday, like, no meeting zone for the whole day, or maybe just for a chunk of the day. Unless it's an emergency, but even then, like, we don't want people to cross the boundaries that we set in the organization to stabilize us. So, within reason.

Lauren Spigelmyer: Monthly rituals. What would you put in place as a monthly ritual? I really like… like, reflective supervision practices, so integrating, like, a flow and a sequence of that, and giving feedback, and praise, and things like that. So, I probably, as a supervisor, would put that into my monthly calendar. I love the idea of, like, a team connection session or activity, like, even if it's something that you do outside of work, but, like, you're collectively working on it. Like, I have a friend who works for an organization where they do, like, health-based challenges and connections, and it's a little bit of, like, competition, but, like, sometimes they have step challenges, like, you track your steps, and you send your steps into the team, and the team that you're on, you know, you add up your steps, and we see across all the teams who has the most steps, or your number of… of movement-based, or minutes of movement, you know, it doesn't have to be… health-based, either. It could be downtime minutes or downtime activities, but these are just ideas or options that help the teams to connect, because they feel like they're working together, but kind of for something outside of work, and also for something that kind of helps them individually. I also love a good, like, story-sharing ritual. I mean… call me, like, a woman of the woods, but… I don't know where that came from. I just made that up, but… eons ago, it feels like. I mean, some studied, but think about, like, grandparents, like, they, like, share stories, and a lot of cultural practices of cultures outside of, like, the US, like, share traditions through stories. And these stories are really powerful, and really regulating, and really, like, they just… they release a lot of happy chemicals in the body. So, can you bring something like that into your organization? Like, what does it look like to pull ancient cultural practices into your organization? Like, are there success stories? Are there win stories? Are there growth stories? Like, they don't have to be, like, personal life stories, but, like, they can be work-based stories and rituals, but, like, a rotating routine where it's, like, a story of a positive moment, a story of success, the story of a win, something like that. But short and sweet, too, because we don't want to drone on and take up a ton of people's time and give them, like, more data to read. Like, I do… I have an organization I used to work for that, like, they would post a success story every week, and it would come through emails, it's like, okay, it's another email, and then it's a pretty lengthy, like, success story, so, like, those may or may not read it. If you have a full inbox, you're probably not even reading it. And then it's just… it's like, it's too long, so it's a lot of data, because it's a lot of text, like, what's a better way to share that? And think about sharing things in ways that aren't always, like, emails, or texts, or chats, like, is there, like, audio message, video message? Like, we need to keep in mind of how some of those things dysregulate us, because they’re stimulation. But is there a different modality to share something, that doesn't cloud an inbox, or that isn't too long, or that doesn't stimulate too much? Like, just think outside the box a little bit there, and if you're like, I don't know, I don't have the capacity to think outside the box right now, then ask AI, because AI's got lots of ideas to help you come up with more ideas.

Lauren Spigelmyer: Okay, quarterly practices.I think, like, a culture pulse is really good to do quarterly. How's the organization feeling? Are we feeling overwhelmed? Are we feeling burnt out? Are we feeling really good, successful, positive, happy? You know, what's the pulse of the organization? And a quick reflection on that, not like another thing to do, like, okay, fill out this survey. Like, how can we seamlessly and easily take the pulse every quarter to see how people are doing, because they might not always come to us and tell us they're not doing well. We also maybe want to take that data and review the stress patterns and the workload and take an assessment of all of that and figure out where we're at? Are people managing? Do we need to try and lift something off people's plates? What can we do? Can we bring in? Can we delegate? You know, what can we outsource? What can we do here? And then I think… I like the idea of, like, a more intentional and strategic, like, recalibration when these things need to be fixed or addressed, versus, like, constant pivoting, changing, pivoting, changing, new, new, new. It's overwhelming to the nervous system, so how can we, like, slow down, strategically recalibrate and put something in place that actually stabilizes. This… These types of routines and patterns, they help create a system that really feels like it inhales, and then it exhales, and it does both. Rather than living in a constant inhale, which is overwhelmed. Like, you're like… okay, there's an exhale. And we would like it, ideally, to be in and out, and in and out, and rhythmic. Okay, how do we integrate rest? Which kind of sounds funny, like, thinking about organizations. Reflection and celebration. We want… the nervous system to go through activation. Like, we need activation to grow, so activation may not sound positive or negative, but, like, when you leave the nervous system's window of tolerance, people tend to see it as, like, a negative thing. Like, you're stressed, you leave your window of tolerance and you are dysregulated. That can be a positive thing, because it sets you into, like, mobilization, like, movement. We just don't want to stay in activation demobilization. We want to move into that, recognize that, and then do something to rest and repair. To pull us out of that state. It's… the problem is most people are staying in that state, but moving through the cycle, activation, mobilization, rest, and repair, that's a really healthy thing, that's a really positive thing, and it makes a nervous system, like, really resilient. It builds resilience. We want that. And we want organizations to move through that, like, not even just individuals, but organizations move into activation, then mobilization, then rest, and then repair. You have to have these seasons. Like, think about, like, bears hibernating, or, trying to think of another example of, like, something that's, like, kind of, like, active, mobilizes, rests, repairs, resets, and goes through the cycle again. But that's what we're after. So… like, if you're an organization that has, like, more seasonally heavy work, you want to build in recovery. Weeks, not even just a week, maybe, or days, but, like, build in recovery after that… that's… the end of that major event. That we have a really intentional celebration, activities, rituals, like, really intentional ones, after intense seasons as well. And that we're… adding in slowdown periods to help integrate, you know, growth and learning and, like, betterment. Not just, like, talking about it, not just some, like, professional development on it, but actually integrating it. And then, can we even, like, create… like, I love the idea of a couple co-working spaces that have, like, reflection spaces or meditative spaces. I think a lot of people don't use it, because they're like, I don't have time for that, but that's the problem. It's like, you don't have time for that, and that is the problem. But, like, can you go in there for, like, one minute throughout the week or throughout your day, just to, like, ground, and it's, like, sensory de-stimulated, reduces stimulation. My words are jumbling my mind right now. You can reflect, you can integrate, you can, you know, pause for a second in the chaos of the day. So, I like that as well. The biggest thing that we want to kind of keep in mind, and some of these things can feel like the opposite of this, but, like, rest is not… like, earned or a reward. Like, it's a regulation strategy. It's something that we embed in our organization, in our days, weeks, months, or quarters that's a preventative piece. It's not just like, okay, we know this is gonna be chaos, or we're gonna, like, schedule rest or recovery afterwards, which we can, we will, we do, hopefully. But how do you integrate it as, like, a natural part of the rhythm versus, like, just something that we do after?

Lauren Spigelmyer: Okay, last part. Rhythms replace chaos with coherence. Let me say that again. Rhythms replace chaos with coherence. Without rhythm, without routines, without cycles, without patterns, everything feels really urgent. But with rhythm, people know what to expect, there's clarity, they know when to push. And they know when to pause. That is what we want. Push, pause, push, pause, push, pause. When they're… Our rhythms and routines, and there's clarity, and there's predictability, it reduces the cognitive load of, like, oh my gosh, what's coming next? Even if you're not asking yourself what's coming next, your subconscious, your brain, your body is asking what's coming next. And some people come into an organization already feeling that way because of the previous workspace, because of their childhood, because of whatever else, but their systems can reset to this new… way of existing and being inside of an organization if the organization provides them a safe space to do so. If the organization has its routines and rhythms built in place, and it's more preventative versus reactive, that person's history that they bring in with them starts to mimic and match that of the organization in which they now work. So that's also what we're after. We're literally healing people through our organizational work. When you work for a high-stress field, or a trauma-exposed field, like healthcare, education, policing, behavioral health, this is even more important, because your, like, everyday work is kind of destabilizing, and it kind of feels like a dumpster fire every day, because you're dealing with populations that are in a state of chaos, so you have to stabilize yourself to be able to help stabilize them. So, these routines are even more important for organizations like that.

Lauren Spigelmyer: So, just take a little quick inventory. Hearing all of that, thinking about some of the, like, practices daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, thinking about the routines you have in place, you don't, like… How would you… say that you're doing with this as an individual and as an organization, or how is your organization doing with this? And then I'm gonna… encourage you, not ask you, but encourage you to… try and create and introduce one regulating rhythm this month. Maybe it's a reflection week, maybe it's a pause day, maybe it's a no meeting window, maybe it's a gratitude huddle, maybe it's like a Monday morning grounding meeting, maybe… it's, like, no new tasks on Friday after 4, maybe it's… like, limited number of meetings, I don't know, whatever it is. What's one… regulating rhythm that you can integrate maybe next month, because this episode's going to come out the end of December, so… maybe next month? Which is good timing, new year. And then, after you implemented it for a month, observe how the team's tone, pacing, energy, and yours, too, shift or don't shift. It's gonna usually take about 2-6 weeks for people to really… start to feel some positive impact from this, because you're… again, your system's in pattern, you're trying to break the pattern, put something new in place, your body has to regulate it, and kind of, like, accept it, and know that it's safe, and then integrate it. Okay. That is what I'm gonna ask you to do. I'm gonna ask you to pause and do that, because I know what happens, is we hear this information, sounds great, you might even think of something we could do, and then we don't, like, map a plan for how to get it in there, or we don't, like, pre-think about, okay, what does that look like, and how do I actually do that? Or we don't, like, put environmental reminders up to remind our brains and bodies to do that. So the hardest part here is not, like, hearing the information, it's taking the information and moving it into action. So, think about what that looks like for y'all.

Lauren Spigelmyer: Okay, if you want to learn more about this, or you're like, okay, these things are all great, but, like, I'm stuck here, like, I don't even know how to add a rhythm, or which rhythms are trading and which ones are not, awesome! Jessica and I can help you. We developed a program called Staff Sustainability System and we come in, and we kind of look at all these big areas throughout your organization at a couple different levels. Leadership to frontline staff, policy, practice, all these things. And we help you kind of dissect, like, where are your weak points? And then, we help you put some of these things in place that are tailored to your organization, that help you to stabilize. So, if you want to learn more about that, FiveIves.com, F-I-V-E-I-V-E-S, dot com. When you go to the Services tab, it's the very first link on there, Staff Sustainability Program. You're in education, and you're like, hey, I love this. I would like to learn, like, how to kind of stabilize around the chaos of classroom management and behavior support, we have a course for you, or even if you're not in education, you could be in behavioral health or work with children in some other capacity, but we are in partnership with University of Pennsylvania, and we created a course that you can earn 4.5 credits from, from Penn and learn all about the depths of behavior. What drives it, how to respond to it, how to regulate yourself, how to co-regulate, how to prevent yourself from burning out. That is called Behavior Breakthrough, and that is also on our website under Five Ives, under services, or even on the very first page, you can see it all the way at the bottom. It's the on-demand resources page, and you'll see the link for that on that page. And that is a course that runs every semester, so we're wrapping up, just wrapped up this week, a course for the fall, spring will start at the end of January, and then we'll have a summer course as well. And if you just have questions and you want to connect, we can do that too. Ping us through the Five Ives website, and we would love to reach out to you, chat, connect, see how we can support the work that you're doing. Until next episode, I'm Lauren Spigelmyer, and thanks for joining me.


Categories: : Emotional Regulation

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